Combray by Proust: Dreaming While Awake

For this course's first reading, Combray by Marcel Proust, I was met with the challenge of breaking down an individual's thoughts as he recounted his life in an extremely detail oriented manner. As Proust recounted his story, he situated himself within his dark bedroom. I believe that this act was intentional, as lying in our beds at night is often the time in which we reflect upon the various memories that collectively form our life stories. 

Similarly, when describing his childhood, Proust also situated himself within his bedroom - this time his childhood bedroom - to explore the version of himself that once lay there. I believe that this choice of perspective allowed readers to gain insight directly into Proust's childhood, because it placed readers in the shoes of a young Proust. In the context of his childhood, a particular topic that Proust spent a significant amount of time reflecting on was his fondness for his mother. He recounted how his mother coming upstairs to say goodnight to him was something he valued dearly. Out of the whole reading, I found that this particular moment resonated with me most closely. When I was younger, I too felt as though my mother was my whole world. I would cry when she left my room to go to sleep every night, and would awake early in the morning with excitement to see her and feel her comforting presence again. Overall, Proust's depiction of his relationship with his mother, through his childhood room, instilled within me a feeling that brought me back to my own life experiences. I think it is quite interesting how being exposed to a stranger's memory can quickly send our minds searching for similar memories of our own.

However, I noticed that Proust's depiction of his bedroom as an adult lay in stark contrast to his childhood bedroom. While his childhood bedroom appeared to be filled with joy and feelings of love for his mother, his bedroom as an adult appeared dark, lonely, and filled with stillness. Within this stillness, Proust pondered his own mind deeply, to the point where at times he even lost himself and questioned his identity.

Overall, I found that Combray was written in a very unique style: one which sought to create a holistic narrative by threading a series of long, detailed memories together. While throughout most of the book I felt lost with regards to what Proust was speaking about, and why he was speaking about it, I now ultimately believe that these feelings of disorientation were meant to parallel the same feelings that Proust felt himself while reflecting on his own life.

Moving forward, my question to anyone reading this post would be: do you think that Proust's method of storytelling is necessary to gain a deep understanding of his life, or is the extent of detail he uses monotonous?

Also, I wanted to share two photos that I found online which represent how I visualized Proust's narrations from his childhood bedroom, versus his adult bedroom: